Once upon a time, there was a single, carefree young princess in her late twenties, who saw no practical reason to marry or have children. She was living the good life and quite certain that she was way too selfish to surrender her freedom to any man or any child. This didn't feel like a bad thing; quite the contrary. She felt appreciative that she had this insight, unlike so many others who thoughtlessly stumbled into this "fairy tale union" and vowed that they would live "happily ever after".
Then one day something very strange happened. The princess was approaching her 30th birthday and she realized that her life didn't feel as full as she wanted it to be.
She was still doing the same things; dating a lot of young
potential princes (and a few frogs too!), but something was missing.
She started to be concerned about loosing her youth and good looks, and then who would love her? Her future suddenly looked somewhat bleak, and with this thought, she set out to find her prince.
Once the princess had set her mind to finding the right man, it was to be conducted similarly to a business; "Let's not date for more that a year . . . we'll know by then and I really don't want to waste time." She didn't want to move in with him as she was fearful that this would just prolong breaking up if it was not going anywhere.
She was fortunate to meet her future husband within a very short time. They did indeed marry . . . and lived happily ever after . . . . sort of. Okay, if you haven't guessed by now, I'm the princess in this story and although it hasn't always been easy, the prince and I have been married for 23 years and have two perfect children. Okay, not perfect children, but they seem like reasonably normal teenagers (ugh).
I came to the realization that if most of us truly knew what marriage and parenting entailed, many of us would not take that leap of faith; we all stumble into it. And truly, it's not a bad thing, it's a good thing. It gives us a chance to grow and move outside the boundaries of the individual self and in to the realm of family and community.
I'm grateful to have waited so many years, as I believe that I had the maturity to handle the tough times differently than I would have in my early twenties. As a more mature mother, I didn't feel that I was missing out on living my own life and when I had an infant attached to me that required 24/7 care, it was doable (barely). With our second child Jordan, I enjoyed the process more because I knew those middle-of-the night feedings in the quiet dark would be over way too soon. I grew in ways I never thought possible. The years flew by and on one particular Saturday morning back in 1998, (my then) eight year old daughter, Haley, was experiencing some serious, unnatural, abdominal pain and (what I would now call) panic attacks over a karate tournament (!) that she was about to compete in. My husband and I felt very adamant about our children learning some self defense at a young age, feeling that it had the dual benefit of instilling self confidence as well as having a practical use. While in the shower, in preparation to leave the house for this tournament, I couldn’t help but wonder “why on earth” our plan seemed to be backfiring with the self confidence issue. I've read all the books, done all the seminars and I never fail to tell them how wonderful they are. “If only I could hire a personal Guru for my children . . . ” I thought. "Are they in the yellow pages?" An idea came to me in a flash that was to be the basis for my children’s series that will be out this Sept/Oct titled, The Grand Master/Little Master Series. I sat down on the edge of her bed and began a life-changing game . . . .
More to come . . .
In Love and Light,
Patricia Merker
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